god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
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