my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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