I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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