kristin has been a bad kristin
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
