so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
