don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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