I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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