Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
