brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
