We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
