yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
