k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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