Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
