yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
