i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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