Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
