I have demons in me.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize