oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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