mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
