i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
