their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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