You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
