I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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