You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
