? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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