Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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