So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
