Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What a fucking waste of an outfit
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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