Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
