sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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