That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
