are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
