You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
