I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
