Tell her she can't have a vagina
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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