Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
