it wasn't lemon gatorade
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
