You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
