She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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