halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
