You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
