Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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