If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
