My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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