..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
