okay pat passed out under dana's car
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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