A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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