Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My liver just broke up with me...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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