oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
