Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
