dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
