Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
