I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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