moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
