D3 body, D1 cock
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize