Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
