my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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