She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
organizing the empties. That sober.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
